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Please don’t bother —–> my Lord and me

Published August 18, 2011 by ladykat3
I've failed to find You, not because You aren't exist... its because I'm lost.

I've failed to find You, not because You aren't exist... its because I'm lost.

 

 

My Lord,

I’m sorry for being this way.. and I wonder why I feel so brokenhearted.

I know that for some people it’s not a big deal…

but as for me, it just…

My Lord, answer me…

Somehow I feel so helpless, how long I should hang around before You help me.

I’m sorry for being rude, I’m a human too and so emo after all this..

You know me, and yet You do this to me..

If You think that I deserves it, let me know why..

I know that I already have a lot of sins, but by making this to me, You make me feel so unworthy..

What am I actually?

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People are looking at what you’re wearing too

Published August 15, 2011 by ladykat3

I’m not a sort of pious gal who wears black veil to cover up my face. I’m just a simple, typical girl in t-shirt, sweater and slack, and of course, an elongated shawl around my head. As for me, I did consider that I’ve preserved my aurat, and before I go out of the house, I’ll take a peek at the mirror. But sometimes, I still can’t tell whether I’ve already take care of my aurat. So I seldom ask my roommates if it’s okay to go out wearing this and that. Friends are my mirror who not just reflect, but help me to choose which outfit would keep me safe. One thing for sure, outfits doesn’t have to be fit. A lot of friends tell me that people won’t look at what we’re wearing; instead, they look on how we behave. I’m partly agreed with this, and we had a bickering-like chat.

If people don’t truly look at others’ physical appearance, there would be no fornication, no rape; no HIV and discrimination, and this world would be a safe place to live in. But that’s not the reality, more like a hope, and you don’t forever get a hold of what you wish for in life. When the people, either male or female didn’t control their gaze, the demon would mumble and provoke him/her to create sins. Lust, which we have in our soul, is totally an ally to the demon. We need to top up our faith so that when something like this happens, we know how to tame that lust. We should realize vividly that the demon would rejoice whenever we fail to control our lust. I really hate to give up my Iman, afterward give pleasure to the demon.

Right now, at any time I bump into good-looking guys, I would try to say somewhat like ‘Masha-Allah, how beautiful Allah’s creation are’ or ‘Allah has made His creation so perfect, and I wonder how perfect is the Creator’ or just a single word ‘Masha-Allah’. Sometimes, I feel that it’s so hard to fight over lust, which is the reason why I always need to make sure that when I’ve doubt against my Lord, I need to find the truth right away. I’m thankful for being at this college. I’ve lecturers who constantly have answers anytime I ask them about faith.

On the other hand, like my friend used to say- people don’t look at what we’re wearing- is actually a factual also. She adds up that she refer to kind of persons who don’t care much at what people are wearing, instead, they look at the attitude. Plus, someone can just be a munafiq, wearing hijab to attract attention or because it’s compulsory to wear clothes like that  at a certain place like mosque; the non-muslim are exceptional, they can’t be called munafiq just because they wear the scarf during a visit to mosque. Likewise, our lecturers don’t care at our physical, they care about our assignments. Of course, an employee would rather look at someone who has discipline to hire. On top of that, Allah wouldn’t look at your physical or garment; He looks inside your heart. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have to conserve aurat, because ignoring it is a serious offence, and of course drawing Allah’s wrath upon us. The point is, what’s inside is more vital than what is outside, however both have to be well thought-out by a person, because they relate to one another.