…to know and believe in my Lord

Published August 13, 2011 by ladykat3

When I was at kindergarten, I had trouble believing His existence at that time – I’m just about 4 0r 5 years old after all. I asked my teacher if He exist, why can’t I see Him. She clarified, “It’s not that you cannot see Allah. You can see Him, if and only if you enter Paradise…” I didn’t memorize in detail the things she explained later, but I did bear in mind she mentioned that for a thing created, there would be a creator.

Once, a senior at my college told me that there are hijabs between Allah and all the angels- if one of the hijabs is blown, surely the angels would be ruined because of His greatness. At that point, I recalled the question I’d asked my nursery teacher. If human were able to see Allah with naked eyes, they would definitely be demolished, now I’d know one of the reasons. I can’t see Him because He loves me. And He gives me a life as a test- whether I am grateful or lead astray. For all the people who realize that life is a test and carry out good deeds, He promised that they’ll be able to see Him- one of countless blessing He will award to residents of the Heaven. He will let those people to see Him- and of course their eyes might have been upgraded, no more the usual naked eyes.

This is a tough test for me, however, fail to believe that He is exist means that my Iman isn’t complete. I do believe that He’s watching over me, but sometimes I forget Him when I’m on a daily basis. When I started my job I forget to say ‘Bismillah’ (In the name of Allah). So do when I’d finished my job, I wouldn’t said ‘Alhamdulillah’ (Praise to Allah). So that I‘ve to say ‘Astarfirullah’ (I plead for Allah’s forgiveness) and try to not forgetting Him at any circumstances. Nevertheless, at least I’ve completed my 5 daily prayers because Shalah is the first thing to be hisab (counted) during the Day of Judgments. Likewise, my lecturer used to utter, “If you want to know whether you really believe in Allah, check your Shalah”.


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